I'll follow you into the dark
by Estherthomas
Summary: "She whispered a last goodbye, drowned in tears before vanishing, swallowed by darkness. As his arms only enclosed the void, the wrench torn him apart for the second time." AU. Based on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice.


There are stories that travel through time. Some are real, some are made up, and some are a little of both. Songs, books, or oral tradition perpetuate the memory of these unforgettable destinies that keep stiring us to tears. The story we are about to tell took place a long time ago, when the sky was still a mystery to us and our fears a gloomy veil darkening our knowledge of the incommensurable beauty of the universe. There was, by then, an ancient creature made of flesh and bone called the Doctor. There were times when he looked young and others when he looked old; but he was always the Doctor. Some people believed that he was the son of a god, and that this was the reason why he had such a beautiful voice. But a tragic destiny was waiting for him, lying low in the shadows.

Here is set forth the story of the Doctor and his Amelia Pond.

**I.**

The Doctor had been travelling for so long that he decided to stop for a time in Thrace after he had regenerated. He was in his springtime and life sounded like a promise. He sang odes to the moon and love songs to young girls in flower. He liked to seduce them and take them with him to share some adventures. The girls would giggle at his clothes, particularly the bowtie; but he had always thought that bowties were cool and that was what he replied proudly to his detractors, while rearranging it. Life was once again a thrilling adventure.

He had been inconstant until that morning of April when he met Amelia Pond. Her beauty was so dazzling and otherwordly that he almost inadvertently broke his own hearts. The softness of her eyes drowned him in a sweet reverie. She smiled at him, and he could hear the crystalline sound of his blood-red jewel breaking apart. For the first time in his life he was pusillanimous. He was possessed.

But Amelia was not just the most beautiful girl in the universe; she was also clever, witty, compassionate, unpredictable and obviously ginger. He neved had experienced anything like that before. He spent all his days with her, and only left her when the sun disappeared behind the hills. But he still dreamt about her at night, mapping the galactic longitude spreading between her freckles. Those light years he was travelling through had the mystery and the sanctity of a predicate. It was an oceanic sentiment for it had no beginning and no end.

Amelia was fascinated, too. She never really expected anything in life and she had resigned herself to marry an idiot called Altrenor. She had done all she could to avoid him, spending her days in the woods with her friends, pretending to weave for her mother, faking some form of sickness sometimes. But she had known that the day would come when she would have to go to the altar and accept her fate. She had always been a fierce spirit and she could not stand the idea of being put in a golden cage. She didn't care about jewels, pretty dresses and costly ointments. All she wanted was the thrill of true love, and the guarantee that she would live a life she had chosen.

And then, the Doctor, _her _Doctor, fell out of the sky. He saved her, even if he ignored it. She had been waiting for him all her life without even knowing she was. And she had never felt more free, more herself than when she was with him.

One night, as they walked in the palace gardens, he gave her a beautiful ruby. They sat on a bench under a path bordered with cypresses. She reclined, laying her head on his lap while he brushed his fingers along her cheek.

_"Legend says that the first ruby that ever existed was in fact a human heart that had turned to stone. It was the heart of a young man nicknamed The Boy With the Bleeding Heart. All this is to say that… that my hearts have bled since the first time I saw you, Amy. They belong to you now; I'm all yours… forever and always. This is a token of my eternal love. My life in your hands, Amelia Pond."_

**II.**

On their wedding night, the moon seemed to be enclosed in a silver corona and the stars were shaping a diamond necklace, increasing the roundness of the lunar empress. A vesper coat was adorning the gardens, creating a shadow theater on the marmoreal whiteness of the walls. Impervious to the hubbub coming from the banquet hall, he gazed at his wife like he had done all night, risking offending Aphrodite. He itemized, idolized, intellectualized; he gave himself over to love, that greedy helmsman. Her heart trembled at his touch, wavering like a fragile skiff sailing against the tide, her heart swelled like a wave and broke on the exquisite suavity of his lips.

They wished they could have avoided the customs and walked back to their bedroom by themselves. The felicity was theirs, and so was the eagerness. They didn't want to share their dream, their exhilaration.

When Amelia saw the cortege heading for them, she shivered. An impetuous desire to run away took over her. He seemed to have noticed her trouble because he held her hand tighter as he left a tender kiss on her cheek. Her fear disappeared, swallowed by the ecstasy of her fluttery soul.

**III.**

She was feeling both ill-at-ease and excited. She was not sure of what was expected of her. All she knew was that she was desperately in love with him and that she wanted to become one with him. She was wearing a crimson-purple brocade dress, perfectly shaped to her body, occasionning an uncontrollable turmoil in her husband.

She came closer to the bed, unsteady. He was standing as still as if he had been petrified by Medusa's gaze. She giggled, trying to draw him out of his torpor. When he finally managed to breath again, he pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly. There were butterflies in her stomach and stars in her eyes. He took out something of his pocket.

_"Pearls of the sea of Propontis. As white and pure as a snow-drop." _

It was the only ornament she kept; it matched the transparence of her skin, shinning like a mother-of-pearl veil.

The waltz they danced that night was a trance, a wandering of the soul, an abjuration of the finitude of the being. He grew roots under her skin and their veins intertwined, creating a tangle of dreams and hopes. She expanded until reaching the limits of the world, then dissolved into stardust. _For better and for worse, until death tears us apart… _

The next morning when she awoke, she saw some timid rays of sunshine, diffracted through the alabaster vase set upon a pedestal table, dancing on the wall. Dust particles performed in the air, appearing and disappearing by turns. She suddenly had the sensation that she could embrace the silence that was surrounding her; as if those fine particles had been revealing the hidden part of the world to her. She felt different, almost diaphanous.

She took refuge in the welcoming softness of the fresh-washed sheets that had kept the warmth of her body. She could feel the masculine presence next to her as his respiration brushed against her face. He slowly opened his eyes, like he had been emerging from a dream. Their lips met in a timid gentle touch before joining together. They stared at each other for hours, taken away by an indescribable sentiment, like two explorers with wind on their sails.

**IV.**

On a July afternoon, as the heat was as stifling as a lead weight, the Doctor and Amy decided to go into the woods to look for a haven of peace. She was wearing a pearly-white dress that made her look like a Praxitele's statue in a green setting. They decided to play hide and seek, as insouciant as children. Their laughter resonated under the canopy of the trees, as fragile and gauzy as a soap bubble.

The Doctor had lived a thousand lives. He had seen the beauty of the universe, and its darkness too. His knowledge went awfully deep, but he had forgotten that he could not so easily escape from his foes. The minute he saw the Angel, his blood froze. Its arm was clasping his wife's neck and she was almost gasping for air. He repeated _"Let her go, let her go," _like a mantra but knew that there was no way out. The only way for the Angel to let her go was for him to blink… and if he did that, she would be dead in an instant.

She could see the truth in his eyes. There was a light she had never seen before, a ferocity and a distress only a broken man could have experienced. She tended to forget about his pre-lives, about everything that was not theirs. She whispered _"I love you" _but still he would not allow himself to blink.

_"I'm already dead and you know it. There is nothing you can do to save me. Please… my love, I'm aching and I can't stand to see that look in your eyes. You just have to blink."_

_"I can't! I will never be able to see you again."_

_"You'll be fine. I'll be with you, always."_

_"Amy, please! Don't make me-"_

_"Goodbye, my love."_

Tears were drowning his cheeks, so much so that he blinked. A second later, she was dead, spread out on the ground. The Angel was gone; there was no trace of it anywhere. He ran to her, and craddled her in his arms, whispering her name endlessly. He brushed his hand against her cheek until he almost wore the skin to bone.

_"No… Amy, come back! Don't leave me, please. Don't leave me. Amy, my Amelia… I love you. Come back, come back to me…"_

He kissed her and kissed her again, trying to breathe life into her but she was motionless and as rigid as stone.

The pain that struck him was like the deadly embrace of the sea and its unremitting assaults; harsh, implacable, suffocating, engulfing him in a liquid shroud. He ranted and raved against the universe, against the stars that preside over the destiny of men. Rage and sorrow raised in him, making him breathless. His hand found its way to his chest, right to his hearts, trying desperately to dispel the excruciating pain that reigned there. He fell down on his knees and darkness came upon him.

He sang his loss, and the loss answered him. Flowers trembled on their fragile emerald scabellons and sealed their calyx in their petals crowns. The birds stopped singing to mourn the death of the beloved departed. Aphrodite, secluded in her Olympian palace, commanded to her son to hold his arrows back. Love itself was grieving.

The Doctor kept singing with tremolos in his voice, playing on the golden lyre Apollo had once given him in exchange for his help.

_"Oh! divine Apollo, you solar figure who makes the light emerge from the darkness of the night, please deign to grant me a wish and give me back my life. For there is no existence worthy of being alive without my dear Amelia. My songs are only vile raven squawks, and my future a punishment as cruel as the one of the poor Sisyphus, compelled to roll his rock for eternity. By all the stars in the sky, I beg you, please bring her back to me._ _"_

But the son of Latona remained deaf to his pleas. The Doctor wandered through the Greek territories, grieving for Amelia on his lyre with dolorous chants, breaking the hearts of the inhabitants, all kingdoms merged.

But one day, as he had reached the limits of Epirus, a nymph approached him.

_"We heard your sorrow and we took the pledge to find a way to help you. You must go down to the Underworld and claim her back. Sing to the sovereign of the realm of the Shades and pray for him to be merciful. Good luck, Doctor! And may the power of the divine Aphrodite help you in your quest!_ _"_

**V.**

The Doctor could smell the putrid exhalations emanating from the river Styx. That place was nothing but desolation and despair. He passed by pale figures, immaterial bodies sinking into oblivion. He had an acrid taste of sulphur on his tongue and a feeling of emptiness in his hearts. He finally reached the gates guarded by Cerberus, the three-headed hound. Hades was waiting for him on the riverbank, alongside his charming wife Persephone, lady of the Underground.

_"As far as I can remember, I did not grant you the right to penetrate my kingdom, Doctor. I know the reason of your visit, but I'm afraid there is nothing I can do. Amelia's soul belongs to me now, in effect of the pact I made with my brother Zeus. No bargaining; no exception."_

_"I want her back," _the Doctor replied, intransigeant.

_"I knew it was going to be difficult," _Hades said to his wife_._

_"I can't live without her. Just take my soul, it's yours. Life is insipid without Amelia anyway. You cannot decline that sort of offer."_

_"I have to follow the rules. Your life thread has not yet been cut, so you shall return to the upper world and wait for your hour to come."_

The Doctor was about to give up when he remembered the words of the nymph. Then he started singing, filling the air with such a beautiful song that even Cerberus ceased to move about. Tears ran down Persephone's cheeks as the Doctor praised the beauty of his beloved wife. Tantalus ceased to pursue the runaway water, Ixion's wheel stopped turning as Sisyphus sat on his rock, and the birds forgot to eat up the livers of their victims.

After a moment, the Doctor added.

_"If the stories are true, you do know how love can tear you apart. What would you do if your wife were taken away from you?" _the Doctor inquired.

And then, something impossible occured. Hades, King of the Underworld, whistled, and a gathering of ethereal entities appeared out of the blue.

_"Amelia!" _Hades called.A tiny figure emerged from the crowd, her ginger hair floating around her.

_"Amy!" _the Doctor shouted, his voice breaking.

_"You came back for me!"_ she whispered.

_"I always come back," _he replied.

He was about to touch her when Hades came between them.

_"Tatatatatata! Wait a minute! You are not from this world, you cannot touch her. But I feel prodigal today. You can take her with you under one condition. You must walk back to the upper world and never, NEVER, under any circumstances, look back until you both can see the sunlight. If you break this rule, she will be mine again… forever. No second chances."_

The Doctor nodded and after a long last look to his wife, stepped into the boat.

He could feel Amelia's presence behind him and not being able to touch her or to look at her was a torture. But he could not afford to lose her once more.

_"Amy?"_

_"I'm here, my love. Just behind you."_

_"I missed you so much. I thought I would never see you again. It was my fault… everything was my fault…"_

_"Sssshhh. Do not blame yourself, it was not your fault. And I'll always be there, in the corner of your heart. You'll never be alone."_

A ray of light informed him that they had almost reached the upper world. The sensation of the grass under his feet was a blessing after the harshness of the path. The urge to look at her was too strong and, now that they were safe, he saw no reason to wait a minute longer. He turned around and his eyes met the delicacy of her face. But before he could realize what he had just done, it was too late.

Amelia had not yet reached the limits of Erebus and as she met her husband's eyes, she heard the voice of the dead calling her back. She stretched her arm, searching for his grasp as she tried to embrace him too but she could only grasp the impalpable air. That's how Amelia died for the second time. She didn't complain, for there was no reason to blame her husband for loving her so much. She could see him living and dying all at once as she lived and died in him. She whispered a last goodbye, drowned in tears before vanishing, swallowed by darkness. As his arms only enclosed the void, the wrench torn him apart for the second time.

He vainly tried to enter the Underworld again, but Charon kept repelling him with a cold indifference. He stayed there on the riverbanks for weeks, uncaring of his own needs, staring at the void. Sometimes, when he paid attention, he could hear the voice of his beloved, whispering tender words to him in order to appease his grief.

When the realization hit him that he would never be able to see her again, he returned to his precious blue box, as pallid as a ghost, with for all consolation, the knowledge that someday his day would come.

As of that moment, he shunned the company of people, cloistered in his TARDIS that he had perched on a cloud. The litany of the days went on relentlessly. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… January, February, March… one year, two years, three years… as repetitive as his heartbeats. He had had two hearts to love her more, that had turned into black holes. The memory of her burgeoned in his chest, red like a flowering of poinsettia. And as each day passed, he only loved her more, while Clotho kept stretching the thread more and more ready to cut it.

This is the story of the Doctor and his Amelia Pond, and this is how it ends.


End file.
